Im at strip club and am horny
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
