your parents love me but you hate me
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Randomize
