I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
