I don't usually arrange sex via text message
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
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