That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
4 words: hood of his car
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Randomize
