Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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