Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I think your dad took our porno
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
