i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Randomize
