They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
