HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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