All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
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