i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
