That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
