the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Randomize
