The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
They took my balls.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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