Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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