I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Randomize
