I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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