Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Is it penis luge time yet?
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Randomize
