You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
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