Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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