Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
