apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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