I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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