It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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