I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I am one with the molecules
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
