I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
he thought i was a dude.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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