I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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