Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize
