do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
