R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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