We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Randomize
