I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
