David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
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