ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
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