Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Randomize
