Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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