3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Randomize
