wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Randomize
