He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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