Its about making memories worth repressing
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Randomize
