brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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