I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Randomize
