is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Randomize
