People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
