All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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