I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
