He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
