I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
you never un-have a 4some
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Randomize
