I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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